A Deeper Reflection on Moving into a Retirement Village
The following excerpt could speak to any older couple moving into a retirement living setting:
“The objective facts of our situation [for example, moving to a retirement village] were easy to grasp and made a lot of sense. But there was an emotional component to our decision to move—emotions connected to growing older—that those facts did not capture. These emotions were bittersweet for me.
On the one hand, we were excited about moving to a new house [for example, a refurbished retirement village villa], a new town, making new friends, engaging in new activities.
On the other hand, we were divesting ourselves of possessions—books, art, furniture, photographs, vinyl records, [career and personal files]—each of which carried its own memories and emotions of an earlier time.
I was surprised by how strongly these emotions moved me. I was also forced to realize that our new house [home] was likely to be our last house [home]. We would grow old together there and become infirm there.
And some day—not for a long time, I hoped—one of us would die there, leaving the other alone.
These thoughts evoked strong emotions in me—a feeling of poignancy and sadness. It may be a stereotype to say that men don’t easily sense or express their emotions. At least for me at that moment, that stereotype was not really true.”
(Lewis Richmond, Every Breath, New Chances: How to Age with Honor and Dignity [A Guide for Men], Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books, 2020)
P.S. Sobering, as it is, if I were to die ahead of my dear wife, Eva, I would now have a genuine peace of mind with Eva living in the Retirement Village because I know that she would be among friends who would support and comfort her during that most difficult phase of life. This would be far superior for her than to be left alone in our now older suburban home, with a growing number of younger neighbours who are preoccupied with their families, sports, and careers.
Alexander Peck
24 August, 2023
Victoria Point, Queensland, Australia
“I was also forced to realize that our new house [home] was likely to be our last house [home]. We would grow old together there and become infirm there.
And some day—not for a long time, I hoped—one of us would die there, leaving the other alone.”
(Lewis Richmond)