Letting Go: Lessons Learnt - Retirement Village Life Insights

Letting go can be seen in a wider context. As we near the end of life, the following themes may well emerge in our lives: letting go and closure; expressing love, forgiveness, and appreciation of life; and deeply considering the continuity of spirit.

Downsizing and taking care of all the many things accumulated over a lifetime is a part of letting go. As my wife, Eva, and I work through this process, here are lessons being learned.

De-Cluttering Lessons

I am surprised at how much my wife, Eva, and I have accumulated over the soon 50 years of our marriage!

We are now transitioning from a high-set home to a low-set Villa in a Retirement Village.

The time has come for de-cluttering in earnest! What a task it is — having had four previous homes and moves, with each move accumulating more boxes of items! The boxes have all been stored in our downstairs garage and cellar, many of them unopened! Life moved on, and there wasn’t the time or need to go back and unpack all the boxes — we would do it later, but later never came, until now.

I look at the things we accumulated — vinyl records, cassettes, CD’s, DVDs, magazines, books, computer equipment, electronic devices, and much more.

In all honesty, I never listened to all the music on the long-playing records or on the CDs — I would do it “one day”. That day never came. Life went on in other ways.

A major lesson from all this is to live mindfully in the present — to savour and enjoy the hours and tasks that lie before me each day. In dwelling on the past, or anxiously anticipating the future, we never fully live life — in the present moment. We can then reach the end of our life, and never have really lived!

I am newly inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh’s writings on mindfulness — the art of living each moment mindfully to thereby truly savour the essence of life!

Specific Lessons Being Learnt

Tackle the huge task of decluttering little by little — with patience and perseverance.

Realise that I have decades of having accumulated items behind me — therefore, it will take time to fully decluttering.

See the analogy with healing — we may have spent years undermining or compromising our health. Therefore, it will take time to restore one’s health — perhaps even years.

Remember kind and compassionate acceptance in relation in having accumulated so much “stuff”!

Live life with greater mindfulness and awareness in relation to all my actions with body, speech, and mind.

Strive not to hoard or accumulate needless items from now on.

Be grateful for our transition to a retirement village — without such a move, de-cluttering would not have happened — and we would have stagnated in our home and struggled more with maintaining everything as we grew older.

Accept the fact that the older we become, the less energy we have — and we simply begin to do the bare minimum in day-to-day living.

Realise that making a move is somewhat stressful — but “no pain, no gain”.

Cherish the wisdom in the comment often made to us — “move while you can” and “don’t leave it until it’s too late.

Don’t fall prey to despair, discouragement, or overwhelm.
Stay fresh in the task of wading through all the accumulated things to be now dealt with — pace ourselves.
Keep the vision of a neat, tidy, attractive home — with clear surfaces, no junk lying around, and things put in their correct places. This will result in a better state of mind.
Think of letting go as an opportunity to bless others — those less fortunate and in need of our items being discarded. Let this be a time of giving back — to help those who may be struggling to make ends meet.
Remember always that we are only guests — we’re not here to stay indefinitely. So there is no need to keep clinging to everything we have owned.

Further Reflections

Over the 47 years of our marriage, we have collected so many souvenirs and nicknacks — and many of them have been featured in our display cabinets (we have had about six shelves displaying the items).

The Many Souvenirs and Nicknacks Collected!

Realistically, much time has been spent in packing them (from move to move), unpacking them, arranging them for display, and dusting them. Is it the best use of our time now?

In day-to-day living, we hardly look at them — and they are not really useful for our lives. What purpose do they serve now? Can they only encourage dwelling too much on the past?

Ironically, we have even forgotten where some of the souvenirs and nicknacks originated from! Some of them were bought and collected from garage sales.

Ideally, we need to progressively manage and streamline all our possessions, souvenirs, and nicknacks — and not simply let them accumulate uncontrollably.

Feng Shui — Ancient Wisdom from Chinese Culture

The clutter in our home has made me appreciate anew the principles of Feng Shui — the practice of arranging pieces in living spaces to create balance with the natural world. Originating in ancient Chinese culture (specifically in Taoism), Feng Shui deals with the organisation of space within a room and the arrangement of objects to create harmony and balance.

Letting Go Is Saying Goodbye

Letting go of the many collected souvenirs and knickknacks involves a process of saying “goodbye”. It is an individual journey — we each need the space and time to say goodbye in our own way.

We need to accept that part of life is letting go — to shed items, to say goodbye. Hopefully, we can even enjoy the learning experience of letting go — to see the wisdom and value of it, and not simply to endure the process with aversion.

Deeper Meanings of Letting Go

The process of letting go of physical possessions, in later life especially, is richly symbolic of learning and needing to say goodbye to: people, places, relationships, and even health.

Gratitude

In the process of letting go, there should ideally be an element of thankfulness — for all the abundant and rich opportunities we have had in life. This is preferable to feeling sad and melancholy.

Biblical Wisdom

Ironically, as we unpacked boxes of items stored for many, many years in our garage and other places in the home, we found that a number of items had been damaged by silverfish, geckos, cockroaches, etc. Precious photos had been discoloured.

It vividly reminded us of the biblical admonition given in Matthew 6:19-20: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.” (New International Version)

Fortunately, we have not had to contend with thievery during our lifetime.